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Tag Archives: Reflections

Trust

Before I entered primary school, I was an extremely stubborn, talkative and ‘guai lan’ type of child. Ever since I entered primary school onwards, I was often being told not to talk. I have then become reserved and aloof while paying attention to the happenings around me.

Throughout years of such ‘trainings’, especially those years in Uni , I become more observant and sensitive for sensing the negative vibes around me. I become very guarded. I have never lowered my guard before. Through the experiences that my Uni friends have been through, I have become more skeptical. I have been wearing a mask and rarely easily trusted anyone since then… Truth always finds its way to reveal to me sooner or later.

 

Recently, it has come to my attention that certain colleague of mine have been doing an action behind my back that I myself have condemned on. Not that this action is targeted at me or designed with the intention to harm me… But, the impact will still be there. He  / She should not be carrying out such an action. He / She should know the consequences.

Frankly speaking, I am quite bothered by this colleague’s action and disappointed in him / her. I was quite disturbed and distracted at work, at meetings. I  have naively thought that we could help one another in our work. I guess this is a small price to pay for the stupidity of lowering my guard in this company…

 

To this colleague of mine…

I am really very disappointed in you if you really have done that. I know this might be a strong word to use but I really felt being “betrayed”! As a senior staff, you should know practically what can be done and what should not be done. Your action really makes me wonder if I could continue to trust you or be guarded towards you from now onwards!

 

 

 

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I finally see some light!

Since I am currently waiting for my hair to be dry, I have decided to write a reflection article on my new working environment on an impulse.

It is 1 year exactly now. I am actually surprised that I have stayed in this company for so long… Honestly, I do not have a good impression of this company, the working environment and the staff during my 1st day of work.

With the exception of HR being cordial and trying her best to make me feel at ease, nothing seems to be good. I was then filled with regrets for leaving my ex-company. To me, this company was really sucked and things were very messy. The vibes that the staff had given out to me were mainly hostile, cold and indifferent! I was contemplating if I should resign immediately for a good 2 weeks. I was utterly miserable. 😢😢😢

I have managed to cope a bit, balancing my working relationships with my colleagues. I have a hard time doing so as there are at least 10 different types of different personalities to cope with in my department. On top of this, I have to also balance up with working relationships with colleagues from other departments. I guess its hard to cope when there is no one you could rely on, some one whom you could click with. 😧

Then came my colleague from my ex-company. Although her presence has helped to defuse a certain level of uncertainty, I am still feeling the stress. The stress level stems directly from the CEO and my colleagues in my department. I guess I have had a very sheltered, protected and smooth pathway in my ex-company.

Lots of events took place during this 1 year. I have come to know my colleagues better. We are now able to share and joke amicably with one another. I have also learnt how to communicate with different personalities though there is still a huge gap for improvements.

With the addition of a new consultant, things start to get better. At the very minimal, I no longer envision myself drowning in an open sea. He has helped to ‘tidy up’ and streamlining the processes and procedures. Through his workshops, I have seen unguarded facets of my colleagues’ emotions and personalities. Through these workshops, I feel that we have understood ourself better. We have also emerged out to be more approachable and relatively close with one another.

Things are moving and getting better with his help and intervention. I could now catch glimpses of dim light at the other end. Hopefully, this light will continue to get brighter. 😄

 

 

 

 

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